Scene from a Restaurant

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Scene from a Restaurant

by

Phoenix Hocking

You’re going out to breakfast at your favorite restaurant. A waitress approaches your table, and the following conversation takes place:

Waitress: Hello, my name is Hope. May I take your order?

You: Good morning. I’d like some bacon to start.

Hope: Do you want two slices of dead pig, or four?

You: Excuse me?

Hope: Two slices of dead pig, or four? The pig spent his life in a steel prison so small he couldn’t even turn around. He had his testicles and tail cut off when he was just a day or two old. So, two or four?

You: That’s disgusting. Maybe I’ll just have a couple of eggs.

Hope: Eggs, one or two? And do you want the ones from the battery hen that had her wing caught in the wire cage she shared with three other hens, or the eggs from the hen with the deformed foot? They both had their beaks cut off as babies so they wouldn’t peck each other to death.

You: Um, maybe I’ll pass on the eggs. How about some coffee?

Hope: Black?

You: No, I’d like some cream please.

Hope: Sure, I’ll bring some breast milk of another species who had her baby taken away when he was just a few hours old so that her milk could be stolen.  Her baby ended up being locked in a crate and killed at just a few days old for veal.

You close the menu and grimace. Then,

You: Ick. I don’t want that either. But, I’m hungry. What CAN I eat that doesn’t involve someone being treated so harshly?

Hope: I’m glad you asked. How about a nice bowl of steel-cut oatmeal, with a touch of brown sugar and some fresh blueberries and salted almonds on top? We can throw on a splash of almond milk if you like.

You: That actually sounds pretty good. Toast?

Hope: We have some lovely Dave’s Killer Bread. It’s made with seeds and grains, and it toasts up nicely. Add some nice fresh strawberry jam and it’s perfect.

You: Wonderful. But, what about my coffee? I like cream in my coffee.

Hope: No problem. We carry So Delicious French Vanilla Coconut Milk coffee creamer. I think you’ll like it.

You: Thanks, Hope.

Hope: No, thank YOU. Because of your food choices today, you’ve made the world a little less cruel.

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